Have you ever wanted “to be the very best, like no one ever was?” Now you can finally pursue your dreams of being a Pokémon trainer with the mobile game Pokémon Go.
Although it was just released on Wednesday, you’ve already either heard your friends rave about it, seen it get beaten to death on social media, or are playing it as you read this. Pokémon Go is simply:
While you wait for the game to download, because I know you’re doing so already, here’s a play-by-play of my first experience with the game this past Friday.
I tried to be productive during the day, while constantly being taunted by my phone, like that Twilight Zone episode where the gambling addict hears the slot machine calling his name (I swear I’m not secretly 50).
9:30 PM: A friend and I were on our way out, when we stopped to get gas. While he was filling up, I opened the app. The area was teeming with Pokémon just waiting to be captured! Within seconds, I’m sprinting around the gas station parking lot.
9:32 PM: Not even 5 minutes later, my friend is sprinting beside me as we head towards the adjacent Dunkin’ Donuts. Just as we’re about to make a capture, a car pulls up beside us. “Are you guys playing that game?” the driver asked.
9:36 PM: Somehow, we managed to convince this random man and his girlfriend to download the app and start their Pokémon adventure right before our very eyes. We wished them luck and got back to the task at hand, which was technically driving to our destination but…
9:40 PM: We found ourselves in the parking lot of a fast food joint, running around the building, much to the amusement and bewilderment of the customers.
We didn’t reach our destination until about 11, a result of many stops and childish giggling as we caught Pokémon after Pokémon. We probably spent most of the night outside, giddily reliving our childhood and nodding approvingly at a surprising number of adults doing the same.
Pokémon Go: do cardio, make new friends, act like a child. What else can you ask for in life?
Now stop wasting time, trainers. You’ve “gotta catch ‘em all!”